Rolanda Perkins

Y’all, we have ONE more day until the end of 2020. I think that we can all agree that THIS year has been  a most  memorable one for the books!!! We’ve experienced both the good and the bad, with many changes that we’ve had to adapt to. This year has also shown us how resilient we are as a people and how we  can  overcome tough situations. I must say that it’s been a lot to absorb and to endure, but I  Thank God  that we’ve all made it this far.    I want to encourage my friends and family to continue to press forward because I believe that better   days are in our future. And please don’t be ashamed or afraid to reach out for professional help ( should you need it ). Your mental health is just as important as any other aspect of your health. We’ve been through a lot this year and we can’t always deal with these things on our own.  “ Here’s to better days ahead in 2021 ”. And even though we’ve been in this for a while, here are some words of encouragement  by Kirk Franklin …

Who we are matters and we MUST ALWAYS remember that! I now understand & appreciate how IMPORTANT it is for me to LOVE myself & to LOVE ‘on’ myself. I know the importance of loving and embracing who I AM. I didn’t always realize or acknowledge that for myself. However, I could always encourage others and help them realize that about themselves. It took me, having to go through my own life experiences, to fully begin to embrace this truth for myself.  Several years ago, I had a supervisor who used to always tell me that I had to ‘encourage myself’. I would ask her HOW do I do that? What I now understand is that there are many ways in which a person can encourage themselves. Below are two of my favorites: (1) Speaking life affirming words to & over myself to remind me of who God says that I AM & (2) Receiving encouragement through music. I’ve learned that even though we might not always believe the positive words that we speak about ourselves, we must continue repeating an

I try to surround myself with good people who generally strive to do the right things. However, I am realistic and acknowledge the fact that we're all human, we all have our good and our bad days, & we don't always make the right decisions 100% of the time.  As I've reflected on things that I've seen happening in the world today, I'm reminded that being nice & respectful & cordial & grateful & kind towards others, is definitely a choice, even in the face of opposition. Although, it's sad to say that we've seen a lot of the opposite happening this year.  One thing that I'm always reminded of is that life is about making a bunch of choices. We get to choose how we treat and how we talk to others. It's a choice to be nice just as it's a choice to be nasty. As often as I can, I treat people the way that I want to be treated myself. And YES I do understand that sometimes people seem to just be unloveable & live to cause strife!

This past Sunday was the first of many birthdays that I no longer get to celebrate with my Dad. Even though we won't get to share any more of his birthdays on this side of Heaven, I'm  so appreciative  of the many times that I did get to spend with him. He was a great Dad in my eyes and I  absolutely adored him . Now, was he perfect? Of course not. None of us are. BUT...  he was the perfect Dad for ME  and I'm extremely  GRATEFUL  that God chose Him for me.  My Dad would give the shirt off his back if he knew that you were in need of it. He was just that kind of guy. I was told by family members how he helped them through hard trials and how he even blessed several of his nieces & nephews to have Christmas presents when times were challenging for their parents.  As I write this, and each time that I leave it and come back to it, I tear up. Not only do I tear up, sometimes I get to the point where I have to stop, dry my eyes, blow my nose and regroup because I realize th

We just came out of the season of Thanksgiving and we still have much to be thankful for in spite of everything that we've seen and/or experienced this year. Throughout this time of Covid, I've kept a gratitude journal to remember all the things that I'm grateful for during this season. I knew that I wouldn't remember them all because of the way that time seems to be speeding by. One thing that I've embraced this year, that I might have taken for granted in years past, is just  how fast time does fly and how we cannot get it back once it's gone .  As I reviewed my gratitude list, I was actually amazed at the number of things I had documented and that I considered to be a blessing. Some of them smaller than others, but still blessings none-the-less. So, in spite of this global pandemic that the world is presently experiencing, I'm thankful for those things both big and small, that I might not have ever paid attention to before.  I don't want to ever forge

In March of 2019, my beloved Cocker Spaniel, Mr. Charlie Wilson, died after being with me for about 13 years. Of course, I was extremely heartbroken. I loved that little Cocker Spaniel with his one of a kind personality. He knew me and I knew him well & we were accustomed to one another's ways. He always lavished me with unconditional love. He used to serenade me every time I pulled into my driveway from work and I could always count on a little 'song & dance' from Mr. Charlie when I came through the front door. I was often greeted with him jumping up on me and welcoming me back home. So needless to say, I truly miss his little sweet soul.  After Charlie passed, I was offered a little 'bully' (that I never received). Truth be told, I wasn't ready to receive another dog at that time and it would have just been filling a void. Also, I really didn't want a bulldog. Maybe I never received him because God knew what I really wanted and needed. He knew that

According to the URBAN dictionary, a ' Monkey wrench ' is an imaginary tool of sabotage, destruction, overthrow and mischief. We've all heard at some point in time where someone, (or WE ourselves), have made a statement similar to: " So-in-so threw a monkey wrench in my program ". They were referencing the fact that someone interrupted their plans and those plans were unable to be manifested. It's not always the case that someone else throws that monkey wrench in your program though. Truth be told, lots of times  YOU  are the one throwing that proverbial wrench yourself. Sabotaging our own plans can manifest itself in many different forms. I can remember several times throughout my adult life when my plans were sabotaged... not by someone else, but by little ole' me!! Quite often those were times when I didn’t fully believe in myself or in my abilities. A lot of us can look back on times in our lives when we've experienced these  times  of unbelief. I&

At some point in time, we've all had leftovers after a meal, and instead of throwing them out, we reused them because they still had value. Sometimes the leftovers tasted better the second time around because they had a chance to marinate in their own spices. You could even create a totally different dish than what the leftovers were originally created for.    In contrast to the edible leftovers that we experience on our palets, there are times when we may think that the unpalatable situations we've experienced in our past, may disqualify us from achieving great things in our lives. However, it's quite the opposite. The leftovers from those events experienced in our lives are often used to create something that's in total contrast to what we could have ever asked for or even imagined.  For me, God took a Heart Attack & turned it into a way of helping educate others about the importance of caring for their own heart health. On the other hand, your story and the power

On Monday OCT 12th 2020, I was reminded that a year ago on (10.12.19), I set out to complete the   Murfreesboro Middle Half Marathon . However, I never got to complete that race because I experienced issues with my breathing that would prevent me from reaching the finish line. I felt really good that morning & was super excited about the race because it was a beautiful crisp fall morning and the weather was absolutely perfect for a race. It wasn't too hot or too cold. For me, it was JUST right!  As I approached mile (4) I could tell that something was wrong with my breathing because I felt a shortness of breath and I began wheezing. Apparently, breathing in the cool October air through my nose & mouth while walking & running didn't agree with me. After I was examined by the Medics, they gave me the choice of finishing the race or being taken to the finish line. Of course, I chose to finish the race!! Well, between miles (4 & 5), I had to stop again for the same

  Have you ever read the poem by Marianne Williamson called, " Our Deepest Fear "? If not, I would encourage you to find it and read it at least once! It inspired me back in 2006 the first time that I heard it while watching the movie,  Akeelah and the Bee . At that time I decided to learn & commit it to memory because it spoke directly to ME! Today, I recite it aloud to remind myself of the extraordinary person that God's created me to be with all of my flaws, insecurities and idiosyncrasies. That poem was a part of my healing process whenever I needed to get past any insecure feelings that plagued my mind. I would quote it over and over until whatever negative feeling(s) I had, subsided.  The reason I mentioned this poem is because I can relate to others who are sometimes down on themselves and need that boost, or 'pick me up'. This is one of my 'go tos', and if it can help someone break through negative thoughts about themselves, then it was well wo

So what happens when someone else hurts us? What now? What do you do from there? We've probably all been hurt at some point in our lives. But after that happens, now what? Do we hold onto the hurt/offense? Do we allow ourselves to fall apart? Do we stay stuck in that moment longer than we should? Truth be told, we've probably all done some or ALL of those things before. I know that I have. At times I even let it consume me because I wanted to hold onto the anger just a tad bit longer until I got it all out of my system. MAN! What a total waste of MY emotional energy!! That actually caused me more stress & sickness in my mind and in my body than I realized at the time.  A good friend of mine suggests that when I have these types of feelings, I should go ahead and feel it, embrace it and then make the decision to move past it! WHY?  Because the decision is ultimately MY decision to make and I can choose to hold onto the hurt/offense, sulk and get entangled in it, or I can cho

  On September 11th 2005, I was informed that I was having a Heart Attack. My entire life quickly changed  in the blink of an eye . I didn't expect it and I definitely wasn't prepared for it! There were so many uncertainties at that time in my life. I really didn't even have time to digest the information that had been presented to me. Life as I knew it would quickly change and I would have to learn to adapt to a ' new norm '. At that time, I could have chosen to become angry and ask, " WHY  did this happen &  WHY  did it happen to  ME ?" Instead, I was very perplexed & confused and asked  myself , " HOW  did this happen"? I needed to know WHAT was the cause of this unwelcomed trauma that slithered into my life.  I needed answers !!! After taking time to reflect on the events leading up to the Heart Attack, I quickly discovered that there was an active role that I played in the occurrence of this Heart event. " WAIT "! " WH

Like so many of us in life, we've experienced some type of adversity. It's not fun and we don't like it, but as we experience adversity, we're also experiencing growth. That might sound like an oxymoron but think about it. Think of a time where you fought and struggled so hard and thought that you would NEVER pull through. A time when you were in so much pain, (mentally & physically) that it was unbearable. It could have been a struggle in your health, your finances, your family, and even your faith.  Situations in life sometimes take us through a gamut of dramatic emotions and leave us feeling like we're at our lowest point. It's even difficult sometimes to see how we can pull ourselves out of certain circumstances. Oftentimes we feel like we're not going to make it. We might have gained some bumps and scrapes and battle scars in the process, but inevitably, we often pull through those tough times and on the other side of the adversity... we've emer

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear” …Nelson Mandela  For years I experienced this in my life. For a long time, I felt like I was married to it because it seemed to control every fiber of my being. I went to bed with it, I woke up with it, I took it to work with me, I’ve even let it influence lots of important decisions in my life. Basically I let it take control over a good portion of my life until  I decided  to FIGHT back against it!! It wasn’t easy, but it was  very  necessary if I was to move forward and prosper in life. Unfortunately, prior to me deciding to fight back, I let it stop me from accomplishing many wonderful things in life.  I finally realized that I had one of two choices: (1) Continue to live in Fear and miss out on so many wonderful things in life, or (2) “ Suck it up Buttercup & do it while experiencing the fear ”!! I discovered that  THIS

When was the last time that you loved on yourself? When was the last time that you told yourself how  beautiful you are; the last time that you praised yourself for the talents that you’ve been blessed with; the last time that you acknowledged your creativity; the last time that you patted yourself on the back for something great that you did; the last time that you looked in the mirror and fell in love with YOU… not because of your outward beauty but because of the beauty that you feel resonating from within.  OH! You don’t remember the last time?? Is it because those are not things that you’re in the habit of saying to or about yourself? Are you instead, in the habit of acknowledging all of your faults, your mistakes, your shortcomings, your insecurities, the problems in your life? Do you tend to beat yourself down and say demeaning things like, “I am so FAT…”; “I’m unhealthy“; “I am not worthy”; “I’m so slow”; “I am not as smart as…”; “I’m certainly not qualified to…”; "I a

“My struggle IS real & it’s been an emotional roller coaster at times.” When I was hosting, ‘The Beat Goes On’ radio show from 2014-2018, I would often reference, ‘The Struggle being REAL’ in reference to my weight and physical health. What I didn’t realize at the time was that those challenges didn’t deal with my physical health , like I thought .  Instead, I finally had an epiphany & realized that the ‘ Struggle ’ I often spoke of, had more to do with my Mental Health than it did anything else! Conversations about Mental Health are not often referenced in a positive light, which is why many people have a hard time seeking the needed help to maintain a healthy mental balance in life . Along my journey, I’ve struggled with battles that would plague my mind about my health and well-being. I would accept, receive and believe all the negative & judgmental thoughts, the scrutiny, the demeaning words, the ‘put downs’, & the ugly criticisms that oftentimes ran amuck i