Rolanda Perkins

  Here we are… the last month of the year, the last week in this month & the last Wednesday of 2021. We’ll never see these days roll around again and they’ll just be a memory in our minds, soon. This past year, we either experienced victories or challenges, ( sometimes both ). Regardless of what life threw at us, we persevered until we made it through, and we always expected the most favorable outcome.  KUDOS to all of us for standing strong and staying the course!t Here’s to that same optimistic mindset in 2022!!  😊

  There have been times in my life when I let things consume me. I would let them take over my entire day. I would worry about them constantly and lose sleep over them. I would ponder about what I was going to do concerning them and how the issue would get resolved. I wasted  SO  much time allowing my mind to be engrossed with unnecessary worries. Why didn’t I just think to turn those situations around and simply consume less? Less stress, less anxiety, less time worrying about things that I often had no control over. At times we let life, children, work, finances, responsibilities, even world events overwhelm us to the point that we try fixing those things ourselves.  OK… let me speak for myself!  I would get so caught up in the how, the why, the what, etc, … that I forgot to  look to the WHO  that could ultimately resolve the issue(s). My focus was always on three people…. “ Me”, “Myself” and “I”!! How was  I   going to resolve that problem  myself? I was putting so much unnecessary

We can be in a good space and everything seems to be moving in the right direction for us when something changes and forces us to have to re-evaluate our lives. Sometimes these changes are choices that we make, and other times they’re situations totally outside our control.    Over the weekend, savage storms tore through the Southeastern region of the United States , caus ing massive damage and loss of life. As some people were being interviewed on the news, they talked about how they lost everything and would have to start over. Even though they were sad and upset about what had occurred, they were also very grateful as well and at times, their gratitude seemed to overshadow their grief.    Their stories have been both heartbreaking and inspiring as well. Heartbreaking because of the loss that they’ve endured. Some lost family members, friends, neighbors, pets, and possessions. And on the other hand, their stories have also been inspiring because of their resilience, tenac

  My brother and I had a great conversation the other day about events in his past that brought him to where he is in life today. There were some things that he’s had to endure in life, ( just like we’ve all had to at some point in time ), that helped change his mind about his future. In fact, his focus was mainly on music, with absolutely no glimpse and/or interest of the medical profession in view anywhere!! However, since he’s ventured into this profession, he continues to rise higher and higher and is always interested in learning where this field can take him next. I continue to be impressed at the way in which he challenges himself to rise higher from one area of the medical profession to another. Needless to say, he never imagined that he would  ever  be doing what he’s doing today…  and absolutely loving it !!! Well, if we don’t realize anything else, we understand that there will be a time when we too will receive that  wake-up call  that’ll inform us that it might be benefici

  I remember years ago when I was trying to discover what  my purpose in life was. I would always hear people talk about having a purpose, and it became  so  frustrating for me because I had  no  idea what my purpose could be. I was so focused on  me…me… me … that I wasn’t thinking about what I could do to be of service to others. Here’s the crazy part… Once I took the focus off myself, that’s when things started presenting themselves to me. “Go figure”!  😊 I was searching outside of myself, to find what my purpose could be. However, when I began to search within, embrace, and focus on the events that were already occurring in my life, ( or those that had occurred in the past ), I was able to use those instances to help define  my purpose . Once I began figuring out ways to use those circumstances, the self-induced pressure that I put on myself, began to lift off me.  I didn’t start off doing anything big. In fact, I took baby steps and kept walking in the direction of my purpose,  wi

  I used to be afraid of silence, but now I’m learning how to embrace it. Truth be told, sometimes the fear of not knowing still tries to rear its ugly head and I find myself becoming impatient when I’m in that  waiting phase .  Here’s the crazy part . While waiting, I would entertain false scenarios that would dance around in my mind about a situation. Often, the things that I was thinking, were not even how the story played out in the end.  I even experienced the fear of silence when starting out as a Speaker, a Trainer & a Radio host. I would over-prepare, allowing myself to always have extra talking points to play around with if I needed them. YES... this experience did create some fear. However, it has also served me well because through this process I’ve become a more confident speaker/trainer. It was important for me to always have something to say and never allow “ dead air ” to creep in. Dead air to me meant that I ran the risk of running out of material to speak on in fro

  As I was reflecting on some things that have occurred over the course of my life, I was reminded of a certain  phrase: “Trouble don’t last always”.  We all know and have come to accept that we’ll undoubtedly experience both good and bad events through the course of our lives. However, we also realize that every problem we encounter, will eventually have an expiration date. I believe that as often as we’re blessed to see another day, those days can serve as opportunities for us to grow stronger through our adversities. I’ve also experienced that at the end of  ‘that thing’ that I’ve gone through,  I’m STILL standing!!  I’ve gained more strength, more wisdom & more insight & I’m usually a better person on the other side of  ‘it’. When I’m going through troubles & I feel like giving up, I refuse to do so & I stay the course!! I accept the circumstances until I can do my part to help change them, ( because I realize that I too, have a level of responsibility) . I also use

  At the beginning of the summer, I had to have a long conversation with three people:  Me, Myself  and  I .  As the three of us were dealing with a certain situation, one part of me wanted to serve as the  voice of reason . Another part of me wanted to stay angry and felt like  cussin ’. Hey… as my stepmother says,  “tell the truth and shame the devil ”. LOL! I ended up not giving into the unruly part of me because the part  that was searching for solutions to the problem, and working with the voice of reason , reminded my nonsubmissive self that  we  decided back in January of this year, that we were going to be mindful of the things that  we  say...  especially when provoked to anger .  Truth be told, I’ve put in a lot of work over this past year to calm certain impulsivities. Now, don’t get me wrong, she doesn’t show up often… but I wanted to make sure that  if  she does show up again, she’ll be better equipped to handle challenging situations more suitable than she has in the past

We’ve heard people refer to their lives as being an open book. We’ve also heard them talk about a new chapter in their lives, in reference to them turning another year older. Truth be told, our lives do resemble a book and everybody’s stories are truly unique and different in relation to who they are and what their experiences in life have been. Each day that we’re blessed to live another day, is like a new page in our life book that’s being written about us. Have you ever wondered how your book will read and what kind of stories the days of your life will tell about you? When you get to the end of your life, what kind of book will your life show that you’ve lived? Will it be a romance novel, a horror story, a book of little or big white lies, a book that encourages and uplifts others, a book of fiction, a tragicomedy… or a little bit of each? None of us really knows how our stories will end until we get to the end of the story. If that’s the case, we should strive to live our best liv

We all go through things in our lives and sometimes it’s harder to deal with certain issues than it is with others. We understand that both good and bad things will inevitably occur in our lives, as long as we’re still breathing and walking this earth. Sometimes the  not-so-positive things  can be challenging for us and have us feeling  as if we’ll never be victorious over them. However, I’ve learned that when I decide to  open up  and share things with others, it helps to ease the burden. When I can draw from the wisdom of others, that’s when I begin to see a different picture. The other day, someone posted on social media how they were feeling depressed. There was such an outpouring of love for this individual from their circle of friends/family that it made me have a deeper respect for the community of people that I choose to surround myself with. It’s so crucial to have supportive people in our lives that are willing to reach out to us, lend a helping hand, be a shoulder to cry on,

The relationships that we establish today will ultimately play a role in one or several chapters of our lives. The choices & relationships we establish today, will either be to our benefit or detriment later in life. As I was watching the anniversary special about Disney’s 50 years of service, and John F. Kennedy’s dream of sending a man to the moon, I reflected on how BIG their dreams were. They never did put limits on their dreams.   They didn’t even know how those dreams were going to be manifested, but that didn’t stop them from dreaming up the concept and daring to dream BIGGER than anyone could have ever imagined. They were aware however, that they needed to surround themselves with exceptionally skilled people who had the talent, skills, knowledge & expertise to do what they might not have been capable of doing themselves. As a result of surrounding themselves with the right people, their dreams far superseded what they initially started out as being.    We too have impo

For as LONG as I can remember, I’ve been told all my life that  I was clumsy . Since I was a child, I’ve heard those words repeatedly. Of course, I started believing and internalizing them for years, received them as being my own, and would frequently use them as part of my internal dialogue. Every time I did something  that people considered as being, clumsy , I would reaffirm to myself how clumsy I was. Why NOT?? I’ve been doing it all my life. Recently, I’ve started becoming very annoyed at having those words either spoken to me or continue to pop in my head when things happen.   This might not be your story. You might have been told something totally different, but I bet you can relate. Here’s what I want you to remember... because this is what I hold dear to my heart now... It’s a quote by motivational speaker Les Brown that says, “ Other people’s opinion of you does NOT have to become your reality” . Well, I didn’t realize that growing up, so I started believing things about myse

Over the course of our lives, we've all had things that we were extremely passionate about. We'll throw ourselves into those  things  & feel a sense of accomplishment after tackling them. Then there are other times when we're passionate about something & we tend to feel stuck while trying to accomplish those  things . We have  some movement  towards those goals but our actions do not reflect the passion that we've expressed about them. Could it be that we're not dreaming  BIG  enough & we're wondering how  WE 're  going to accomplish those things on our own & in our own power??? I don't know about   YOU , but I think that just might be the culprit for   me ! I hafta start   BACK  dreaming   BIGG-er   dreams!!! They're gonna hafta be the kind that scares me... because then & only then will I consistently be reminded that I can't possibly accomplish them on my own!!  

A long time ago, I saw something on the internet called,   Jessica’s affirmations ... that helped inspire me to begin talking to myself.   HUH? Yup! It helped me be able to look at myself in the mirror and begin affirming some of the most positive messages that I had NEVER before said to myself. It wasn’t easy because when I initially started reciting those words, I didn’t believe any of them and it was very difficult to even carry out that exercise without it evoking several emotions that would bring me to tears. To help conquer this task, I had to start with baby steps... I first began posting positive messages on my bathroom wall that I would read daily...  anytime I’d visit that room.  It would be several post-It notes with motivational messages  to myself... from myself  that would boost my confidence and feed my self-esteem. Some of the messages were reminders of what God said about me... ( that replaced the negative things I sometimes said to myself ). Every morning when I would

We are NOT in control of everything that LIFE presents to us!  However, we CAN control how we act &/or react to those situations that are placed in our paths. We can either choose to get upset, sulk, & stay in that funk, or we can choose to use that same energy we spend on worrying & being upset, & give it over to God to handle. I was presented with an issue this week that would have had me stressed out the entire week... once upon a time. It seemed that everything I tried & every corner that I turned, presented a dead end for me. What I had to remember once again... was that I was NOT in control!!  I was struggling to figure it out on my own but once I came to my senses & decided to give it to God, that's when everything started falling in place.🤷🏾 God was just waiting for me to stop being a 'control freak' so that He could work it out for me.🤦🏾😁#LessonLearned

  As I was thinking about  life  the other day, I thought about how it resembles a  MAZE  to me. One dictionary definition describes  a maze as being a path or collection of paths, typically from an entrance to a goal .  That made me think about how we strategically navigate through life  ( the paths ) while confronting various difficulties that may arise along the way to our destinations ( goals ). We always begin ( at the entrance ) with an objective in mind of where we want to go, or what we want to do, or even who/what we want to become. To accomplish these things, it’s imperative that we maintain our focus and determination to accomplish what we set out to achieve.  Just like walking through a maze, we all encounter different obstacles ( roads ) that we must travel as we journey through life. It might become difficult at times and we may feel trapped, not knowing how to escape. However, when we regain our focus, we discover there’s always an exit route. We actually go in expecting

  Who said that quitters never win? I beg to differ. I believe there are times in everyone’s life when it’s extremely beneficial and necessary to  move  people, places, and things...  away from  and  out of  our lives to help propel us to our next chapter. Yes, it may be scary to step outside of our ‘ norm ’, but when that time presents itself, it’s important for us to heed the call. When we think of Quitters, we often think of someone who easily gives up. However, the kind of Quitter I’m referencing is the person who starts releasing people and things that no longer serve a purpose in their lives & they're not afraid to let them go. They win by caring enough about themselves to start prioritizing their own well-being.  Some examples I’ve seen of Quitters becoming Winners is when they ... QUIT a job/career that they’re no longer passionate about... QUIT...Doing things that are detrimental to their wellbeing... QUIT...Stressing & worrying about things beyond their control...

  How do you relax  your  mind? There are many creative ways to do this.     Recently I’ve discovered that moving thoughts from my mind to paper is a great way for me to clear out things that have lain dormant for years. They can be good or bad thoughts but getting them on paper and out of my head, helps clear up space for me to reflect on other things. It’s a way for me to journal, share ideas, and at times help to inspire others.   Writing for me has served as a natural memory booster, and has assisted me in recalling things that might have gotten misplaced in my thoughts over the years. It has also helped   to improve   my creativity & vision. It has even helped to quiet that internal dialogue/chatter that used to play often. This for me is calming and this is what helps me to relax.    So again, I ask…  How do you relax your mind ? Find what works for you & do  THAT  thing.

I had a friend working on my laptop over the weekend. After several hours of working on it & getting it to function properly, I logged back into the laptop. I then turned around to get up from the chair & hit the cord attached to the laptop. I didn’t realize what happened until I heard the sound of the laptop hitting the floor. That’s when I discovered that the monitor was now acting strange. I could do nothing but sit there in TOTAL disbelief!!! I was literally at a loss for words and all I could utter was, “ O.M.G.!! I am SO sorry ”! YES!... It was an accident, but I felt terrible because he spent SO much time working to fix it. As terrible as I felt at that moment, I know that he had to be feeling, ‘ some kinda way’  himself because of the time he spent working on it. However, I must speak to the compassion that I felt was shown to me, by him.  I know it’s not always easy to show compassion to others in situations like that. I know that frustration is probably what he really

  This week I’ve been decluttering my home. It’s amazing the number of things we accumulate over time that no longer serve a purpose for us. I had two piles:  Things to donate  and  things to throw away . At one time those things served a purpose in my home. However, I felt like they were now just taking up space and in the way. I’ve been telling myself for years that, “ I need to get rid of this or that. ..”  for whatever reason , but never really took the time to do it. However, once I did, I could either leave that space empty, or add something else in its place. Whatever the decision, the feeling of  releasing  the item was very liberating. It made me think about the people that we let linger in our lives whose season has passed. There’s nothing wrong with decluttering people from our lives, as we declutter,  things . Sometimes there are people in your orbit who no longer add value to your life, and you should have released them a long time ago. I’ve had to step away from folks bef

  WHY take care of your mental health???   … Because it’s  essential ! We’ve heard that word used a lot in the past year and a half referencing the importance of certain workers being available to service the public. Workers like health care personnel, first responders, grocery store workers, and employees in other essential workplaces. These are the folks that we heavily rely on to care for our critical and necessary needs.  We! Need! Each! Other! To! Survive! We were not put on this earth to exist alone! In the same respect that people play a vital role in our survival, we also have a role to play in it as well. I believe that we too, have the responsibility to take the necessary steps in caring for ourselves mentally, physically, and spiritually. All these things collectively work together to ensure that we’re receiving the best overall care for our survival.  There’s been a lot of talk lately about Self Care, especially in the wake of Simone Biles withdrawing from some of the Olymp

  I was listening to a man the other day sharing a testimony about some things he did in his past that he was ashamed of. When he began talking about those experiences, he got choked up and had to pause to gather himself. He seemed to be experiencing the guilt, hurt and shame all over again even though he had worked through those issues. As I was listening to him, I thought about how powerful that emotion can be when we let it have power over us by continuing to accept responsibility for things that  we’ve already worked through and let go of . I thought about how shame has made me feel in the past. It has made me want to hide my internal struggles  that I dare not share with others  out of embarrassment and fear of being judged. Shame is a tormentor that’s been both mentally and physically toxic in my life. It causes us to feel exposed and then we begin worrying about what others think of us.  Or at least those are things that I’ve experienced before .  So, whenever I feel like I’m at

  As I look back over my life and think about the things that I’ve experienced, I acknowledge that the good definitely outweighs the bad.  And those  not so positive  experiences have shaped me into the person that you know today. However, I realize that nothing occurs by ‘ happenstance ’, but that the events in our lives were all predestined and I believe that it’s up to each of us to determine how to use those situations to make a difference in our lives and the lives of others.    I can truly say that MY experiences have helped me become more resilient than I would have ever imagined myself to be. I’ve matured, I’m wiser, I’m more cautious with my heart, and most importantly, I’ve learned how essential it is to forgive myself and others, so that I can move forward and not stay stuck in those spaces in time.  I’ve forgiven  ME  for choices that I’ve made in my past. I’ve had to forgive myself for things that I was an active and willing participant in. I’ve forgiven people who’ve take

Has your routine ever been interrupted? I'm sure that it has because interruptions are a part of all of our lives. When it happens we must adapt & adjust to the changes. We might not like it but sometimes we dont have a choice about it. I experienced this recently during the latter part of June when I sprang my ankle. When I was finally comfortable walking on it, I ventured out to the grocery store. Without thinking about it, I grabbed a shopping cart & began what seemed like the longest shopping journey ever, due to my injury. What I didnt think about doing, was using one of the motarized shopping carts instead, which would have made my life alot easier. 🤷🏾  I didn't remember about the motarized carts until I saw someone whiz by me on one of them. I didnt remember them because that's not something that I would normally utilize & I know they're supposed to be reserved for those who truly need them. Well guess what? I was now one of those in need & it w

  Whenever I travel, I usually pack a few bags to take along with me. Each time that I’ve traveled, I carried something different inside of my bags like clothing, shoes, toiletries, jewelry, etc. Even though I might pack some of the same items in my bag each time I travel, most times the content inside is totally different than the time before. Then there’s the weight of the bag(s). My intention each time I pack is to try and pack light so that the weight of the bag is not so burdensome to carry. However, that doesn’t always work out the way that I’d like it to and there have been times when my bags were over the weight limit when flying certain airlines, forcing me to pay the price for the overweight bags to be stored.  Figuratively speaking,  in comparison to the bags that we take on vacation,  we sometimes carry around emotional baggage in our lives that can weigh us down and become too heavy for us to bear. Over the course of our lives, the content of our bags may change with each

There were seasons in my life when I didn’t spend time nurturing the natural abilities gifted to me. Instead, I would devalue them and take them for granted. Like many others, I had a lot to offer but would often hide or discount my talents. I know people who never nurture their gifts because they don’t feel as if they have the natural ability to do so. Here’s what I try to remember when struggling with something like this:   Put it in God’s hands and leave it there because when God puts His super   on our  natural,  that’s when all things become possible for us to achieve!  

  I believe that we can all agree that, "who you   ARE   & what you   DID"   are often two totally different things. We all have a past and sometimes we struggle with that past & let it stifle our growth. We let thoughts of it intimidate us and sometimes subdue us to the point where we become paralyzed from moving forward. We must begin to embrace the fact that, the past is just that…   The past !! It’s gone! It’s done! It’s finished and our best days are in front of us when we truly have a desire to change the narrative of our stories.   So YES, we want to always learn from our past, but also grow from those experiences to become a much better version of ourselves. Just remember the next time those accusing thoughts try to creep into your mind to point out things from your past, you instead, remind yourselves of the following:  I am FORGIVEN, I am a CONQUEROR, I am WORTHY, I am an OVERCOMER, I am POWERFUL, I am a SURVIVOR & I am LOVED!! “You're welcome"

  The other day something sparked a memory in my mind, related to the  Special Olympics &  the amazing athletes who compete.  In my early 20’s, I worked at a facility that cared for individuals with special needs & intellectual disabilities. It was there that I had the opportunity to witness firsthand what it  felt  like to be part of the help staff that assisted in the Olympic games. If memory serves me correctly, that was my very first time assisting in those events. One could not help but to be overcome with emotion to see the determination and effort the athletes put forth to obtain their medals. They might not have been the fastest person in a competition and their balls might not have been thrown hard or fast enough to even make it over the line. However, everything they did was always done with  passion  and  purpose .  What I saw that day would leave a lasting impression in my mind for the rest of my life. Those exceptional athletes knew exactly what they were there for

That’s a great question for us to ask ourselves & to reflect upon. I’ve asked myself this question before, but I didn’t always recognize what the answer was, although it was staring me in the face. I was searching for external solutions that could only be found internally. The answer always found itself coming right back to  ME . I was preventing myself from being great! I would let shyness and timidity play dramatic roles in my life story. They were great actors performing those roles so well, they even had  ME  convinced that this was who I really was. It seemed that whatever I did and wherever I went, those same roles would present themselves to me as if I couldn’t perform in better ones or didn’t deserve to. So, when they became better Thespians than I was in  my  own story, I had to break free from those type-casts, so that my greatness could be discovered. Les Brown, the Motivational speaker said it best when he stated:  "If  you  don't program yourself, life will pr

Sometimes I give people a little glimpse into my world. I’m somewhat of a private person and don’t often share lots of my private life with others outside of my inner circle. However, when I feel that certain parts of my life story can be used to help others deal with their struggles, that’s what makes it easier for me to  open up . When you see me sharing parts of my life, please know that this has not always been an easy task for me. However, I’ve discovered that it is very necessary, and it helps promote healing for others, as well as for me.  There are times when we feel as if we’re the only person experiencing certain things in life, until we talk to others who’ve surprisingly experienced some of those same things in their own lives. I’ve met lots of people like that. Once they shared their stories with me, it immediately helped me to discover peace in the midst of my storm. So, the next time you’re  ‘going through’ , and feeling like you’re all alone in your struggle, please know

This past Memorial Day weekend I was blessed to be part of an Awesome celebration for several young scholars. They all reminded me that when you have laser focus, you can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. With the permission of one of those individuals, I wanted to share his achievements because I don’t remember if I’ve ever seen so many awards on one person. When I took the opportunity to pull him aside and talk to him, I asked what each of the graduation honor cords & medals represented. He explained the following: His Gold cord represented his 4.0 GPA in Science; The Pink represented his involvement in the symphonic orchestra for 4 years; The Red represented his 3.75 or higher GPA in Foreign Language, ( which he went all the way to Spanish 5);  The Black/Red/White cord represented the school colors and that he had served in the Student Council for straight 4 years; The Light Blue cord represented his 4.0 GPA & higher in Math class; The Purple represented his 4.0

  I saw a short clip of the Kelly Clarkson show the other day where Kimora Lee Simmons was mentoring a very young designer. When asked what were some of the things the young designer learned while interning with Kimora, she stated, “I learned that  you must have tough skin because not everyone will like your designs” . Kimora agreed with the young lady and mentioned that in the fashion industry , even though you might have a great product, not everyone is going to want what you have .  I experienced something similar myself, while modeling several years back with a group out of Nashville called, ‘ Figures of Nashville,  inc’ ( FONI ). During that time, I had the pleasure of meeting some wonderful Sister Friends. This was a PLUS size model troop that had women from all walks of life. There were professional singers, radio personalities, Teachers, Hair stylists, Doctors, Attorneys, etc. It was there that I met some of the most confident women that I’ve ever encountered who were all shape

  Ever have one of those days that you’ll NEVER forget? I can think of a few, but the other day one popped into my mind and I have NO idea why. I guess God figured I needed a laugh at that moment because I was reminded of my  very first day  of High school. I wore a skirt and I had a  slip  underneath it… ( because that’s what we did back in the day, we wore slips so that nothing was showing underneath that skirt) . Anyway, we were between classes and the hallways bustled with students trying to make it to their next class on time. I remember I was getting ready to pass in front of the Nurse’s office when suddenly, the unimaginable happened in that crowded hallway.  That bad boy  slipped  right off my hips… ( pun intended ) and found its way around my ankles as I walked down the hall.  O! M! G!  Thank the Lord those were the days before cell phones, cameras, and social media. I’m sure I was thinking, “ What tha ”... as I used my Ninja skills to duck into the nurse’s office as fast as I

Recently I was honored to be named as the, “ Mentor of the Month’  in this month’s May 2021 issue of Woman's Day magazine. It’s such a great honor and I’m truly grateful to have been chosen. When I read the article, I let two words intimidate me. They were: ‘ fitness fanatic’ . When I think of a  fitness fanatic , I think of someone who has a healthy or an unhealthy obsession with exercise and keeping themselves fit,  and I didn’t see myself as being either of those persons . Perhaps my definition of a  fitness fanatic  is a little skewed because of the images that I hold in my mind of extreme athletes. Anyway, I’ve now come to embrace the way in which the article is worded, and here’s why… I follow different exercise and fitness enthusiasts on social media who help inspire me along my journey. Some of them I know personally, and others I don’t know at all. However, I do admire their accomplishments, the ways that they push and challenge themselves, and the ways that they unconscio

I heard the broadcast journalist Robin Roberts say the other day, “ When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you’re showing a strength, not a weakness… and people see that and will thank you for it ”.  I never used to see vulnerabilities or struggles as being a strength and I would ertainly hide mine from others. I realize that lots of people deal with their own struggles and don’t often want others to know what those struggles are. Sometimes we even go to great lengths to hide or mask those conflicts. I know I’ve done that for sure!!  **RAISING MY HANDS** However, I’ve come to realize that by sharing my adversities  through the use of this blog , and being transparent with the information provided, it not only serves as a release for me, but I’m grateful for the fact that it has also served to inspire others as well.   When I started this blog, I felt it was basically a way for me to get things off my chest…  or out of my head . For me, it was more like writing in a journal,  althoug

  When I was a little girl, I can remember the garden that my Grandfather grew in his backyard. It was a massive garden that had rows and rows of mostly vegetables and some fruit. He was the only gardener that I had ever encountered. When we visited our Grandparents, we always had fresh fruit & vegetables and a home cooked meal because my Grandmother was one of the best cooks that I had the pleasure of learning my culinary skills from. Of course, my Mother is the other.  😊   Thinking back on my Grandfather tending to his garden, I can now appreciate the importance of the steps he had to take for his garden to grow. He had to plant his seeds at the right time, cultivate the soil, fertilize the land… and whatever else he had to produce this bountiful harvest annually. He never rushed it… he always took his sweet time to nurture that garden and it never failed to reap great benefits for him,  and us as well because we were the beneficiaries of it . Gardening came so natural for him.

I realize that everybody,  including myself  has a  backstory . Initially we don’t always know everything about the people that we encounter in our lives. We learn about them the more that we interact with them. We don’t know the things that they’ve dealt with, growing up. We don’t always know what impacted their lives,  either positively or negatively . We don’t know the things that they might still be holding onto or the things that they’ve decided to let go of that helps them thrive in life.    There are times when we’re on the receiving end of those backstories and we benefit greatly from them. Then, there are those times when we wish they ( and their stories ) had never crossed our paths. 😂 I believe that our backstories provide a glimpse into who we are today and why we think and act as we do. I also believe that sometimes we’re smart enough to use those backstories to help encourage ourselves to continue striving to be the best that we can be. Or, we’ll allow them to discourage